


Marian and Max

by Willowflower_Waterlily



Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 14:10:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4838141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowflower_Waterlily/pseuds/Willowflower_Waterlily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marian Hawke still dreams of the night she ended her love's life. Talking to him in a dream, she promises to live for them both. Deciding to help the Inquisition, she never knew she could find love again in a world torn apart by war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InannaAthanasia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InannaAthanasia/gifts).



 

Everything around them is shrouded in darkness. Marian kneels behind Anders, aching for what she has to do. Kissing his neck, she wraps her arms around him. “I will give you peace, my love. I will set you free and take up your cause.”

 

A nod and his hands squeezing hers are his only reply. Tears rolling down her cheeks, she lets go of him. Pulling a knife out of her pocket, she stabs him, piercing his heart. His body falls away from her, fading into the black.

 

“Thank you, love.” Anders’s voice echoes in her ears, as the darkness engulfs her. She reaches to her throat trying to breathe, the air itself suffocating her. Falling to the ground, Marian’s breaths come in short gasps. She’s going to die here, with the only man she’s ever loved. Too weakened to continue fighting, her hands fall onto her chest. Succumbing to unconsciousness her last thought is that she will be with Anders again soon.

 

 

 

Jolting awake, Marian sits up. Crying, she broods over her nightmare. Three years passed since it happened. Lingering guilt and pain keep her from letting go, making her relive the moment in her dreams when she starts to feel as though she can forgive herself.

 

Looking over at the campfire, she notices Stroud watching her. A wordless understanding passes between them. He knows what it’s like to have nightmares of things that cannot be changed. Collecting herself, she summons some ice in a metal bowl, and melts it. Marian cleans up the best she can, looking at her short black hair with disdain. Touching the pendant on her neck, she says a silent prayer for Anders. Hopefully the Maker understands, and accepts him by His side.

 

“We should split up, Hawke.” Stroud’s voice cuts through Marian’s thoughts. She nods and accepts the food he hands her. “I will continue to look into red lyrium. How shall I reach you if I find anything?”

 

“I have a central point for receiving letters, and they get passed along a chain of Varric’s contacts until I get them. It’s very discrete, though not entirely trustworthy, so write in code, I’ll figure it out.” Marian marks Stroud’s map for where the drop off is. They eat in silence before he packs up. Nodding at her, he walks away, disappearing into the woods.

 

 

 

Months pass since she and Stroud separate. She helps mages in the Free Marches make their way to a ship for Redcliffe. Hearing of a conclave being held by the Divine, Marian hopes it will finally bring peace to Thedas. She wants to see it first hand, but was warned away by Varric. Marian sighs, knowing her friend is looking out for her, but she can’t help but think if she was there maybe she could help the mages.

 

Standing on a cliff, overlooking the Waking Sea, Marian stands vigil. She faces in the approximate direction of Haven, waiting to see if there will be peace or if the world will fall into chaos. A faint green light appears in the sky to the southwest. It’s barely visible, except for when Marian squints.

 

“What the Void is that?” Marian murmurs, a familiar dread settling in the pit of her stomach. She tries to figure out what it might be, so far to the south, it couldn’t be northern lights. Dismissing it as a freak occurrence of nature, she lets it slip from her mind. Walking back to the docks, she prays the conclave is successful.

 

 

 

Marian looks around her, unsure how she got back to Kirkwall. Her heart breaks when she sees Anders approach her, afraid she’s going to relive the same nightmare again. Instead of the world around them changing to that night, he approaches her. Crying, she begs the Maker to end this nightly agony.

 

Anders gently caresses his face, wiping her tears away. Sadness clouding his features as he stares at her, trying to memorize everything about her. “You need to let it go, love. It wasn’t your fault.”

 

“I killed you, how is that not my fault?” Marian turns from him, her shoulders shaking as she starts to cry. “It was my knife in your heart, I did it.” Anders wraps his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. Leaning into his embrace, she lays her hands on his.  “I am so sorry, my love.”

 

“You have nothing to apologize for, love. You set me free.” Anders turns her around so he can look into her eyes. “I am the one who should be sorry. I never wanted to put you in that position. I was forced to do it, by Justice. I am sorry. I knew I was going to break your heart.”

 

Marian softly kisses Anders, pulling him into a hug. Tears cascade from their eyes, neither wanting to let the other go, but knowing they will have to. Breaking their kiss, Marian lays her head on Anders’s shoulder. “I love you, and I always will.”

 

“I love you too, Marian.” Anders takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “But you need to move on, love. Find someone who will make you happy. Don’t torture yourself over what happened five years ago. I want you to be happy.”

 

“But I will never feel for anyone what I do for you.” Pulling away from him, Marian locks her gaze with his. “It wouldn’t be fair to anyone I would end up with if I can’t give them my whole heart.”

 

“I was in love once, before I fell in love with you.” Anders takes holds her hands between his. He shifts his gaze down to them before looking into her eyes again. “I had to kill him, to set him free. I was too late to save him. Karl was my first love, and while I never forgot what we had, I moved on. I lived for him as well as for myself. Live for me, love. Find happiness again.”

 

“I will live for us both, but I can’t make any promises about finding someone else to love. The world is tearing itself apart, and it’s partly because of us. I need to fix it.”

 

“I know you can, I believe in you.” Letting go of her hands, Anders cups her face, leaning in to kiss Marian one last time. “I will always be with you, in your heart, love. But now it’s time to wake up and live.”

 

 

 

Marian opens her eyes, hearing the sounds of the sea around her as the ship sways in the water. Tears fall freely down her face as she lets herself grieve one final time for her lost love and the future they were denied.


	2. Chapter 2

The first time she sees the Inquisitor is when he lifts the ceremonial sword out over the crowd beneath him. Marian shivers when she sees the look of determination on his face. He was made for this. Maybe Varric is right about him, maybe he can fix the mess she and Anders made. A dull ache fills her chest when she thinks of Anders, a pain that will always linger.

“Set up a meeting, Varric.” Her best friend nods, before walking toward the keep. With a heavy heart, Marian heads toward the meeting place Varric planned for her to be introduced to Trevelyan. Feeling as though she’s being watched, she looks down at the courtyard and spots a dark haired woman in plate armor staring up at her. The other woman radiates anger as their gazes meet. Marian prays she hasn’t caused trouble for Varric by being there.

 

Marian rolls her eyes at Varric when he introduces her by her former title. “Since when have I gone by that?”

“The last time you were in Kirkwall.” Varric replies, grinning. “But that’s beside the point. I figured you could help us with Corypheus. We did fight him. I’ll leave you two alone to talk.”

“I thought he was dead.” Marian shifts her attention to the Inquisitor, her heart beat quickening when she sees him observing her with his piercing dark blue eyes. “I’m sorry, Inquisitor. I wish I had more for you. We fought him years ago, and I thought we killed him. I burned his body to ashes after, to make sure.”

Marian studies his face as he mulls over what she told him. He combs his fingers through his brown hair, with a distant look in his eyes. “I have a friend with the Wardens that was looking into something else for me, perhaps I could see if he found out anything else about Corypheus as he’s been searching.”

“Do you have a way to get in touch with this friend of yours?” The Inquisitor asks, frowning. “Or did he go missing with the rest of his order?”

Marian gives him a confused look, unsure what he means. “I hadn’t realized the Wardens went miss…” Her voice trails off when it hits her. “Shit, Corypheus has a connection to the Blight. He’s controlled Wardens before.” Closing her eyes, Marian takes a deep breath. The image of Anders struggling with keeping control on that mission almost seems fresh in her mind, along with the guilt she felt for asking him to come with her.

She opens her eyes again when she feels a hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright?” Marian tries to smile, seeing the worry in his eyes. “You don’t have to be brave for me.”

“I have to be brave for everyone, I’m the Champion.” Taking a step back, Marian looks away, down at the courtyard below. It makes her think of her home in Kirkwall, and everyone she let down there. Hopefully this time, she can redeem herself. She laughs to herself watching the woman from before running after Varric. “I am supposed to meet Stroud in Crestwood. I think you should be there.”

“Very well, would you accompany me for a drink or two?”

Turning her gaze back to the Inquisitor, she smiles at him. Shaking her head, Marian decides that he’s going to be trouble. “Perhaps another time, Inquisitor, I need to leave right after I rescue Varric from a woman who was chasing him.”

“That is probably Cassandra.” He laughs, grinning at her. “Varric told her that he didn’t know where you were.”

“Ah, hopefully he won’t be too bruised by the time I get there.” Marian salutes the man tasked with saving the world. “If you would excuse me, Inquisitor, I need to go save my best friend.”

“Of course, and my name is Max.” He bows to her, keeping his gaze locked with hers. Nodding, she spins on her heels and hurries down to the courtyard.

 

Standing between the angry Navarran and Varric, Marian glares at the woman. “If you have a problem with me, then say so, but leave Varric out of this.”

“It is him that I have the issue with.” Cassandra retorts, a scowl firmly set on her face. “He lied to me, said he didn’t know where you were. If we could have found you, maybe you could have saved Most Holy.” He ebony haired woman slumps onto a bench. “I was a fool to believe him.”

“If I had been there, I would have died as well.” Marian leans against the table. “I doubt I would have been any good to Most Holy. I think if anything my being there would have made things worse, because of my role in the war. In any case, if you were put through what Varric was, would you give away the location of your best friend?”

“No, I wouldn’t, and I suppose you are right.” Cassandra wrings her fingers together, looking visibly deflated.

“Apologize to her, Varric.” Marian orders, not turning around to see if he’s still in the room with them. She crosses her arms over her chest when she hears him grumbling.

“Fine, fine,” Varric mumbles, stepping around her to stand in front of Cassandra. “I’m sorry, Seeker. I didn’t know what we were dealing with, if I had, I would have told you were she was sooner. I just, wanted to protect my friend. She’s the closest thing I’ve got to family.”

Marian squeezes Varric’s shoulder, before leaving him to work out any remaining differences he might have with the Seeker. Passing the tavern, she wishes she had the time to take Max up on his offer. Marian looks toward the gate, and sees him talking with someone that looks very familiar. Squinting her eyes, she sees that it’s Cullen. She would never have recognized him if she didn’t look closely. Smiling to herself, her heart feels a little lighter knowing the man who stood between her and Meredith is doing better for himself. Max waves her over, and introduces Commander Cullen.

“Oh, we’ve met before.” Marian replies, smiling at the blushing blonde. “He stood between me and Meredith in the end.”

“There was a lot I wish I could change though.” Cullen adds, sorrow in his voice.

Marian nods, fighting back tears. “I think we can both claim that, for different reasons. We can’t change it though. We just have to look forward.” Shifting her attention back to Max, she mirrors his frown with one of her own. “I should go. I’ll see you in Crestwood.” Walking away, Marian feels them watching her as she passes through the gate.


	3. Chapter 3

Max frowns at his reflection as he tries to make himself a little more presentable. “Why can’t we ever just go somewhere and have it be uncomplicated? It seems like wherever we go, there’s chaos.”

“Ah, just like old times.” Varric replies, laughing. “If I didn’t know better, I would say it’s because Hawke’s here. Trouble and chaos just seem to follow her. You don’t need to pretty yourself up too much, Inquisitor. I’m sure she’ll understand we had some things to take care of.”

“That’s not…” Max protests, stopping when Varric laughs at him. “Well, maybe I just want to look my best.”

“For Hawke, it’s alright. You’re not the first person to fall all over themselves for her.” Varric walks back to camp, still laughing.

Max follows the rogue back to camp, and finds Cassandra there pacing. “Are you done preening yet?” Glowering, she crosses her arms in front of her. “We have things we need to accomplish with this. It’s not a social call.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I would think you’re jealous, Cassandra.” Max smirks at her when she makes her signature disgruntled noise.

“Well, you did flirt with her.” Varric reminds him, with a wicked grin on his face. “Though… Come to think of it, who didn’t you flirt with?”

Max presses his lips together, tapping his fingers on his cheek in thought. “What can I say? I’m a friendly guy. Also, it was fun watching Cullen blush and stammer.”

“She’s different though.” Cole’s voice disturbs the silence. “With the others, you were just playing around. With her you want it to be more.”

“That’s enough, Cole.” Max stops the sprit from continuing. He looks away from the others, trying to hide his blushing. “Shall we go? I believe we have an appointment to keep.”

 

Marian stares out from the mouth of the cave, surprised to see daylight. When she first entered the cave and met up with Stroud, it had been as dark as night out. She was convinced the sun had never shone on Crestwood before. And yet, there it is.

Seeing Max and his group approach the cave, she waves at them. “I’m glad you made it.” Marian tells them, trying to not seem overeager about seeing Max again. When Varric grins at her, she can tell she wasn’t very successful.

“Sorry we’re so late. It took a bit longer than I had expected.” Max smiles sheepishly at her. “We had to help the town out, which meant dealing with the mess.”

“He’s taken over for you in the shit goes wrong wherever we go category.” Varric adds, laughing.

“Well, better you than me.” Marian beams at Max, her face feeling warm from blushing. “When it’s me, things tend to explode.”

“Let’s go meet your Warden friend. I’m sure he doesn’t want to be kept waiting for too long.”

Marian nods, motioning for him to follow her into the cave. “He’s in the back of the cave. I spotted Wardens on the way here. Thankfully, they didn’t think to come looking.”

 

Max leans against the makeshift table, trying to digest the information given to him. It’s too much to bear, especially after what he saw in the future when he went to get the mages. Could this be where the demon army comes from? Taking a deep breath, Max tries to push the images of what he saw out of his mind. Feeling eyes on him, he looks up. His gaze meets Hawke’s, and she smiles sadly at him. “We need to get back to Skyhold, so I can discuss this with my advisers. The two of you are welcome to come with us. It’s on your way out west.”

“Thank you, but I must decline.” Stroud replies, looking down at the map. “It’s best if you aren’t seen with me at this time, who knows what kind of sway my fellow Wardens might have in the royal courts around Thedas. I would hate to see the Inquisition harmed. But perhaps Hawke would accompany you.”

“I would like that. It’ll give me time to catch up with Varric.” Hearing the rogue murmur something under his breath, she glares down at him. He holds his hands up in surrender, and she mocks punching his arm.

“So is this what it’s like between the two of you?” Max asks, intrigued. The pair grin at him, laughter shining in their eyes. “I’m sure it will make the trip back more entertaining.” Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Cassandra roll her eyes. “Shall we head back to camp?”

 

Marian watches Max walk away. Smiling at Varric, she follows the Inquisitor away from the camp. Finding him by a small pond, she closes the distance between them. “Varric was telling me that you were prettying yourself up for the meeting.”

“I’m never going to live that down.” Max grumbles, shaking his head. “Did I do well making myself presentable, Marian?”

She lets her gaze wander over his tan face and carefully brushed hair, sliding down to his body. She frowns at his silverite plate armor, wishing she could see more of him. “You’ve done a fine job of making yourself pretty. Was it for me, as Varric claimed?”

Marian’s breath catches when Max pushes her against the tree beside her. His face an inch from hers, he stares at her, his intense eyes smoldering. A shiver goes up Marian’s spine as her heart begins to race.

“If I did do it for you, Marian?” Max asks, his tone dangerously seductive. “What would you do?” He smirks at her. Marian’s lips tingle when his lips graze hers. She whimpers when he doesn’t kiss her, making him laugh. Heat pools in her pants when he leans in to whisper in her ear. “Do you want me to kiss you?”

Marian nods, having lost the ability to speak. Her mouth opens slightly as she begins to pant. His gaze remains locked with hers, his fingers slowly exploring her curves. Unable to take his delicious torture any longer, Marian wraps her arms around his neck pulling his face toward hers. Moaning when their lips collide, Marian combs her fingers through Max’s hair, cursing his armor. She feels the warmth of his hands through her robes, roaming, discovering what makes her react.

Groaning when he breaks their kiss, Marian tries to recapture his lips. Panting, lips swollen, she is at a loss for words. Staring at Max, she reaches up to touch his face with the tips of her fingers. He closes his eyes, sighing contentedly. Holding his head in her hands, Marian softly kisses Max.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like this for anyone.” Marian whispers, her heart pounding. “I want to see where this goes.”

“As do I.” Max smiles lovingly at her, warmth in his eyes. “We should probably go back to camp, before they think we’ve been eaten by a bear.” Marian laughs and kisses him once more before they walk back to camp, hand in hand.


	4. Chapter 4

Marian stares out at the lush green forest, never having seen anything quite so beautiful before. Strong arms wrap around her, and she leans into the body attached to them. “This place is amazing.”

“It’s one of the most gorgeous places I’ve ever seen, more so now that you’re here.” Max kisses her cheek when she laughs. “You seemed happy to leave Skyhold.”

“I don’t think I made you many friends among the Orlesians.” Marian frowns, remembering the loud whispers she heard as she passed people in the main hall. “I think a few of them hoped you would end up with them.”

“Ignore those ninnies.” Max turns her around, to look into her eyes. “I don’t give a damn what they want or think. I know who I want, and I won’t hide it. That wasn’t how my parents raised me.”

“And if it costs the Inquisition support?” Marian asks, cocking an eyebrow, smirking at him. “I doubt your advisers would be very happy about it.”

“I doubt it would cost us anyone. I am the only one who can close the rifts. They need me.” Max looks down at his hand, frowning at the anchor. “I still can’t remember how I got it, but I can do some good with it.”

Marian places her hand on Max’s chest. She smiles at him when his gaze meets hers. “You’re a good man, Max. I know you’ll save the world.”

“I can’t tell you how much it means to me to hear you say that.” Max embraces Marian once more, and she rests her head on his shoulder. “I should go help with dinner. Do you want to join me?”

“Okay, though I probably shouldn’t help.” Marian replies, laughing. “I’ve never been good at cooking.”

Max gives her a quick kiss and beams at her. “I’ll teach you to cook. It’s not that hard once you learn the basics.”

“Aveline tried to teach me.” Marian smirks, remembering the burnt remains of the dinner she tried to make. “It didn’t end well.”

“Then I’ll be your personal chef.” Max squeezes her hand, guiding her toward the fire.

 

Max listens to Scout Harding’s report on the Western Approach, struggling to pay full attention to what she’s saying. When she finishes, he tries to apologize for making her repeat herself as much as he did, but she waves him off, giving him a look of understanding. Marian went ahead of him and his group, to meet up with Stroud. Sighing, he gathers the three he chose to come along, trying to ignore the worry in his heart.

“Maker’s breath…” Max grumbles, as he kills yet another animal. It almost seems as though they’re seeking his group out and throwing themselves at them.

“The Maker’s breath would be welcome.” Dorian complains, fanning himself with his hand. “The air is too still, I could do with a nice breeze.”

Laughing, Max grins over at his friend. “You know, Dorian, your sense of humor is the main reason why I bring you out on missions with me.”

“It’s also my unparalleled skills and my devilish good looks.” Dorian smirks at Max, mischief in his eyes.

“And your humility is second to none.” Max rolls his eyes at the mage. “We should hurry. The Wardens might be rude enough to start without us.”

 

Fear clenches Marian’s heart as she watches Max double over in pain. Tightening her grip on her staff, she swears to destroy the Magister hurting him. She sighs out loud in relief when Max stands up.

Marian stands back, beside Dorian when the Wardens attack them. She casts barriers on the warriors and ice spells on the demons to slow them down. Keeping a close on Max, she protects him as best she can. Marian kicks herself for not listening to her father about learning healing magic. When the body of the last Warden there hits the ground, Marian hurries to Max’s side. She checks him over, smiling when she sees he only has some shallow cuts.

“I’m alright, I promise.” Max holds her hand, looking around at the bodies on the ground. “This is such a waste of life. How could they do this? I don’t understand why they thought this would ever be a good idea.”

“They were desperate, Inquisitor.” Stroud replies, tears shining in his eyes. “It does not excuse their actions, but fear can drive men to do horrible things.”

“That’s no excuse.” Marian snaps, unable to contain her anger. “Blood mages always come up with an excuse for their actions, but it always ends the same.” Stroud glowers at her, opening his mouth to retort when Max steps in.

“Where do you think Erimond would have head to?” Max turns to face the Warden. “Are there any outposts or fortresses in the Approach? He said this was a test. Where could they be keeping the rest of the Wardens?”

“There is a fortress in the area. It’s not far from here. I’ll go scout it out to confirm if that’s where he went.” Stroud closes his eyes, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Inquisitor, is there any way we could give these men a funeral pyre. I know it is a lot to ask, but…”

“We will take care of it before we go back to Skyhold.” Max replies, setting his hand on Stroud’s shoulder. “I know there are still some good Wardens out there. We will do what we can to help them.”

Marian watches the men talk as the bodies are gathered. Saying a silent prayer for them and Anders, she approaches Stroud. “I will join you, to scout the fortress. You shouldn’t be alone for this. If they see you, you’ll need help.”

“Are you certain you want to help a Warden?” Stroud frowns at her, sadness clouding his features. “I apologize. That was unworthy. I would appreciate your help.”

“I loved a Warden once.” Marian replies softly, fighting back tears. “He was a good man that went down the wrong path.”

Stroud nods, giving her shoulder a squeeze. “I will wait for you by the entrance.”

Marian turns to face Max, to find him studying her, a worried look on his face. Taking her hands in his, Max pulls Marian closer to him. “Please be careful.”

“I will be. Make sure you’re careful as well. It’s a long trip back to Skyhold. I will head back there as well, once we’ve scouted out the fortress.” Marian leans into Max, kissing him. He lets go of her hands, and wraps his arms around her waist. She combs her fingers through his soft brown hair, wishing the world around them would take care of itself for once.

Pulling away from Max, Marian smiles when he steals one more kiss. “I’ll see you as soon as I can, I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Max smiles at her, making her already racing heart beat faster. Marian caresses his face, beaming at him. Letting her hand drop, she turns from him and walks away before she changes her mind.


	5. Chapter 5

“If I might have a word, Inquisitor.” Josephine summons Max over to her desk. She purses her lips, studying him. Max cocks an eyebrow at her and waits. “Could you please be a little more discreet with your… dalliance with the Champion? It is beginning to upset the Orlesian guests visiting.”

“It is more than what you seem to think it is, and no I will not.” Max crosses his arms over his chest, frowning at her. “They are upset because they see what is between Marian and me. It’s that they know I won’t be available to offer a marriage contract.”

“You shouldn’t discount the idea of a marriage contract.” Josephine gives Max a look of long suffering patience. “After all, you are a noble. It is how marriage is normally dealt with.”

“Not in my family it isn’t. My parents fell in love, having met a one of my great-aunt’s parties.” Sitting down in the chair in front of Josephine’s desk, he makes himself comfortable. “None of those tactless women would ever have my heart. Marian has it. The Orlesians will just have to live with that.”

“Understood, Inquisitor.” Josephine turns her attention back to her paperwork, her mouth curving into a small smile as she writes.

Max shakes his head, chuckling. He walked right in to that one. He’s certain he’ll be hearing from Leliana before long. The Spymaster loves to tease him on occasion, more so now that he and Marian are together. His thoughts turn to Leliana’s relationship with the Hero of Ferelden, hoping Lady Cousland didn’t get caught up in the Wardens’ madness. Max makes a mental note to ask if Leliana has heard from her recently.

 

Max sits down beside Marian on his sofa. He smiles at her when she looks up from her book. “How was your meeting? Do they have a timeline for when we strike Adamant?”

“As soon as we acquire the trebuchets we move out. Josephine has sent ravens out to nobles in western Orlais. It’s only a matter of time.” Max shakes his head looking out at the mountains beyond his balcony. Feeling Marian moving beside him, he shifts his gaze back to her in time to see her laying down, using his lap as a pillow.

Marian smiles fondly at Max before turning her attention back to her book. “Did Josephine have a conversation with you about me? I overheard a few of the Orlesians talking about it.”

“She did, and we came to an understanding.” Max replies, shaking his head. “I think it was less about the Orlesians and more about teasing me. I’m just glad Cullen doesn’t tease me like Josie and Leliana do.” Marian laughs at him, her eyes not leaving the page she’s on. “Is that a good book? I’ve hardly seen you without it.”

“It’s one of my favorites.” She sets the book down on her chest and looks up at him. “It’s about a warrior who goes on a great adventure and falls in love. It ends tragically though. It’s so sad and beautiful.”

“Well don’t leave me in suspense.” Max caresses her cheek, bending over to kiss her forehead. “What happens? How is it tragic?”

“She sacrifices herself to save the man she loves.” Marian replies, tears shining in her eyes as she remembers the end of her book. “It was the only way for anyone to survive, and he needed to live, so many depended on him.”

“Was there no other way?” Max asks, worry gripping his heart. The urge to hold her close becomes almost overwhelming. “Could he have saved her?”

Marian shakes her head, sorrow in her eyes. “Would you like me to read you some of it?” Marian beams at Max when he nods his head, and begins to read where she left off.

 

Marian wakes up feeling the warmth of her lover’s body pressed against her back, his strong arms embracing her. Stretching, she turns around to face him, finding he’s already awake. Max smiles at her, love shining in his eyes making her heart flutter.

“I wanted to let you sleep just a little while longer.” Max explains, kissing the tip of her nose. “I may not get to see you much as we march on Adamant, so I wanted to have as much calm with you as I can.”

“I love you.” Marian’s heart beats faster, her palms beginning to sweat. Happy to have finally told him, warmth envelopes her when Max’s face lights up. He opens his mouth to reply, a giggle startling them before he can speak.

“Have I come at the wrong time?” Leliana asks, her voice almost innocent in tone. When Marian turns around to face the Spymaster, she laughs at the wicked expression on the other woman’s face. “I hate to interrupt your intimate moment, but you’re needed in the war room, Inquisitor.”

Marian slides out from under the covers still naked, and makes her way to the basin. Cupping her hands, she splashes her face with water. Turning to reach for her robes, Marian smiles when Max hands them to her. Already dressed, he helps her into her attire.

Max pulls Marian into his arms, devouring her mouth with his own for an all too brief kiss that leaves her breathless and speechless. Letting her go, he ends their kiss. Marian sways slightly before regaining her balance. Max caresses Marian’s cheek, smirking at her. “I love you too, Marian.”

“Shall we go before they come looking for us?” Leliana asks, beaming at them. “I’m willing to bet Cullen is pacing by now.”

“I’m sure he is, and Josie is probably tapping her foot and glowering at the map.” Max laughs, following Leliana.

Marian stands still, trying to regain control of herself. Her lips still tingle, while her body is in a state of chaos. She longs for his touch, his lips on hers. An aching heat pulses between her legs, almost too painful to ignore. Marian takes a deep breath, trying to center herself. There will be time for her to be with him, after the battle is won.

 

Marian screams in terror when she sees Max disappear among the falling stone. She tries to outrun it, but can’t. With nothing but air under her, Marian’s stomach jumps into her throat as she plummets to the ground below. A green light blinds her and she blacks out.  

Coming to, she looks around. Did she die? Where is she? Looking around, she sighs in relief when she sees Max and the rest of the group. Jumping down, she runs into Max’s arms. Casting a low level healing spell, Marian quickly examines Max, smiling when she only senses small cuts and bruises.

Seeing only one path and the rift off in the distance, the group agrees to move forward. After meeting the Divine, or so she claims, they follow her, restoring Max’s memories as they fight demons. When he receives the last one, he doubles over in pain, holding his head in his hands. Marian tries to go to him, but staggers as energy pulses from him, sending the memory into everyone’s minds as well.

Marian watches Max try to outrun the demons, helplessness consuming her. Seeing the events play out, her heart breaks for both Max and the Divine. When the vision ends, Marian reaches out to Max, intertwining her fingers with his. He squeezes her hand, giving her a sad smile.

“I lived because of you.” Max whispers, his eyes wet with tears. The Divine nods, and changes form, revealing herself to be a spirit. “Thank you, for helping us.” The incandescent form in front of them nods, turning to guide them. Marian lets go of his hand, kissing his cheek before she follows after.

 

“You couldn’t save anyone, Hawke.” The demon mocks her. A chill shoots through her, knowing it is right. She failed to protect her family, and Anders. As though it were reading her mind, it laughs darkly at her. “How did it feel to end his life, Hawke? Do you think you’ll have to do it again?”

“Leave her alone.” Max shouts, stopping the group to comfort her. Lowering his voice, he whispers in her ear as he holds her. “Don’t listen to it, my heart. Think of the future, of winning this war, and of being together.”

“She will not make it out of here alive.” The demon taunts, an evil glee in its voice. “You will lose.”

Max holds her gaze, his arms still around her. Marian sees the fear and worry she feels reflected in his eyes. Her lower lips quivering, Marian softly kisses Max. Closing her eyes, she shuts out everything else, and focuses only on what it feels like to be held by him, to kiss him.

Bull’s teasing breaks her concentration. Opening her eyes, she smiles at Max, her cheeks pink from blushing. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Max kisses her once more, earning more taunting from Bull, with Dorian joining in.

 

Marian stops short, the giant fear demon blocking the path back to the waking world. Her breath catches when she looks just beyond the massive spider and sees Anders. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she holds her staff out in front of her. “I’m sorry, love.” Marian says softly, unsure which of the men sharing her heart she’s talking to. Casting a barrier around herself and the group, Marian runs at the demon. Behind her, she hears Max screaming for her. Out of the corner of her eye Marian sees him being dragged through the rift. She attacks the demon casting spells and hacking at its legs with the blade at the bottom of her staff.

It knocks her down, her staff flung off and out of reach. Pooling the rest of her mana into a single spell, Marian prays it will be enough. Weakness overwhelms her after she casts. Her vision blurs, and she hears Anders shouting. Marian smiles sadly when Max appears in her mind, her last thought before falling unconscious.


	6. Chapter 6

Max jerks himself free of Stroud’s and Bull’s grasps, a storm of anger and heart crushing sorrow raging in him. Quickly closing the rift, the demons the soldiers were fighting vanish. Cheering soldiers hug one another, but Max can’t join in. Waves of numbness and pain wash over him, leaving fury and resentment in their wake.

“Either join the Inquisition or get the fuck out of southern Thedas.” Max snaps at Stroud. Seeing Cullen and Leliana approaching from the corner of his eye, he sees them stop suddenly, looking for the missing person. A sharp pain pierces his heart. Closing his eyes he shakes his head. It can’t end like this, he won’t let it. Holding his hand out in front of him, Max opens another rift and runs through before anyone can stop him.

 

Looking around, Max’s heart clenches when he sees Marian lying on the ground. A strange blonde haired man is kneeling beside her, a blue light emanating from his hands. Max runs to them, dropping to his knees when he reaches them. Tears come unbidden to his eyes when he sees her battered and bruised, blood trickling from her mouth. Holding Marian’s hand between his, Max cries. The other man looks up and nods at him as he casts, tears flooding his face.

“I’ve done all I can for her.” The mage reaches out to Marian’s face, gently wiping the blood from the corner of her mouth. “Marian will live, but will remain unconscious for some time. Make sure she doesn’t go out adventuring until she’s completely healed. Remind her that she doesn’t have to save everyone and that people will help her.”

Max bites his lower lip to keep from gasping. He studies the other man, and realizes who he is at last. Questions form in his mind, but he doesn’t need to know the answers to them. None of the answers matter to him. All that matters is that Marian will live.

Max leans over Marian, pressing his forehead against hers. “I love you.” He tells her, his voice cracking. “Your men are both here, and we want you to live.”

“You know who I am?” Anders asks, his voice barely above a whisper. “Did she tell you about us?”

Max nods, sitting up to look at him. “Marian told me everything. She still loves you, and wishes that it didn’t have to end the way it did.” He stares into the mage’s eyes. The anguish in his heart is mirrored by the other man’s expression.  A wordless understanding passes between them, and Max nods at Anders.

“You’re a good man. I’m happy she met you. Tell her that, please.” Anders gently kisses Marian. “Have a good life, love. Do that for me.”

Max starts to reply, stopping when the mage disappears. Marian stirs as he cautiously cradles her in his arms. Standing up, he carries her to the rift he created, back to the realm of the living.

 

Standing outside the healers’ tent, Max stares down Leliana and Cullen as they lecture him. He holds his hand up to get a word in. “What would you have done if it was Elissa?”

“I would have mourned her, but I wouldn’t have gone back.” Leliana glowers at him, her fists clenched. “What you did was reckless. You risked everything. There was no way for you to know that the demon was gone before you opened that rift.”

“And I would do it again.” Max glances away from his advisers, to the tent beside him. “Without love, there is nothing. If you don’t approve of my actions, perhaps you should find someone else to be Inquisitor. It won’t be either of you, or Josie, or Cass, because all the four of you did before was bicker.”

“You’re right. We wouldn’t have gotten anything done.” Cullen rubs the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable. “I just wish you would have told us what you were doing before you did it. I would have gone with you.”

“Why would you have?” Max asks, curiosity getting the better of him. He watches Cullen squirm slightly under his gaze. “I thought you might blame her for what happened in Kirkwall. It was Anders that started the rebellion there.”

“That was a long time coming, for many reasons.” Cullen closes his eyes, shaking his head. When he looks up at Max again, tears begin to trickle down his cheeks. He hastily wipes them away, taking a deep breath. “If I had listened to her about Meredith and what the mages were dealing with, maybe I could have stopped it from happening. So much was kept from me, but that’s no excuse. It was my fault, I was second-in-command there, and I should have seen what was happening. I would have gone with you because I owe her that much.”

“We will make sure everything is ready for the journey back to Skyhold, Inquisitor.” Leliana gives Max a small smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “We’ll leave you to check on the Champion.”

 

Marian wakes up beyond disorientated. Where is she and how did she gets there? How can she be moving if she’s lying down? She sits up too quickly, making her vision blur and her stomach begin to revolt. Closing her eyes, she feels a pair of gentle hands lay her down again.

“You shouldn’t sit up so quickly.” Max’s quiet voice reaches her ears. Opening her eyes in disbelief, she reaches up to him. Holding her hand between his, Max kisses her finger tips. “You’ve been unconscious for some time now. We had to wait a couple of days until you were stable enough to move. Luckily it takes a while for an army to march. We’re nearly back to Skyhold.”

“Is this a dream?” Marian asks, her voice cracking. Dread plagues her heart, memories of her last moments of consciousness in the Fade flooding her mind. She keeps her gaze locked with his as tears well up in her eyes, her chin quivering “Am I dead?”

“No, you’re alive.” Max props her up against one of his arms, and helps her drink from a skin filled with water. “I went back for you. Anders was there. He healed you.”

Marian shakes her head, her eyes widening. “No, you shouldn’t have. I did what I did to make sure you could escape to save the world.” Closing her eyes, Marian takes a deep breath. “I saw Anders, before I attacked the demon. I thought it meant my time had come.”

Setting the skin of water down, Max wraps his arms around Marian. Fighting back the urge to cry he swallows the lump forming in his throat. He nearly lost her. Had it not been for Anders, Max would have. The very thought of never having her in his life again, of never having a chance at a future together shakes him to his core. Tears begin to form in his eyes more rapidly than he can blink them back, escaping one and two at a time.

Marian weakly squeezes him, feeling him shaking in her arms. “You don’t have to be strong for me, love.”

A sob wretches itself from Max’s throat, the last of his self-control evaporating as tears roll down his cheeks more rapidly. Clinging to Marian, he cries uncontrollably, burying his face in the crook of her neck. All of his anguish and shame flow out of him with his tears.

“When I saw you lying there, I thought you were…” Max’s voice fades, his breathing becoming more ragged. “And I couldn’t do anything to help you.”

“I would have died, were it not for you coming back to get me.” Marian tells him, trying to comfort Max as best she can. “I am here, right now. Focus on that and not what could have been.”

“Anders saved you.” Max lifts his head from Marian’s shoulder to look in to her eyes. Sadness and lingering guilt are what he finds. “He wanted me to tell you something.”

“Can you tell me later?” Marian whispers, a tear gliding down her cheek. “I don’t think I could bear it right now.”

“I understand.” Max lays her down on the make shift bed. “You should rest. We’re about a day from home.”

“Will you stay with me?” Marian shifts over to make room for Max. She gives him a hopeful look as she pats the cloth covered hay beside her.

Beaming, his heart piecing itself back together, Max lays down next to Marian. He wraps his arms around her, cuddling into her. Marian’s eyes flutter shut, a small smile still on her lips. When her breathing evens out, Max kisses her forehead and whispers, “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last lines were inspired by a post-credits scene from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy radio show.
> 
> Arthur: Fenchurch, when do you get off work?  
> Fenchurch: Just after the apocalypse.  
> Arthur: Will you come flying with me?  
> Fenchurch: Always.


	7. Chapter 7

Marian lowers herself onto Max’s lap, nuzzling into his neck. He gently rubs her back, staring hypnotized into the fire. “Are you okay, love?” She presses a soft kiss on his neck. “You seem distracted lately.”

“I’m fine. I just have much on my mind.” Max’s arms tighten around her, kissing the top of her head. “The healer said you needed to stay in bed for another few days.”

 “But you weren’t there. I didn’t want to stay in bed without you.” Sighing, Marian nods, her heart sinking a little.  Hesitantly, she sits up, to be able hold his gaze. Caressing his cheek, she smiles a little when he closes his eyes and presses his face against her hand.

Taking a deep breath, she exhales slowly as she briefly closes her eyes. When she opens them again, Marian bites her lower when she sees the worry in Max’s eyes. This isn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want to worry him, but she needs to have this talk with him. “You already have so much to deal with, and I was going to bring this up later…” Marian’s voice fades when she can’t find what the words to continue her thought. She doesn’t want to hurt Max, but there’s an empty place in her heart that needs to be healed.

“You want to know what Anders said.” Max squeezes her, pulling Marian closer. Tears fill her eyes, and her chin begins to quiver. He presses his forehead against hers. “You didn’t have to hold back. No matter how much is going on, I will always have time for you.”

Marian nods, not trusting herself to be able to speak with the lump building in her throat. Tears roll down her cheeks. Max lets go of her to brush her tears away. He shifts his gaze for a moment, his eyes wet with tears.

“He wanted me to tell you that he was happy we met,” Max tells her after he steadied himself. “He said that he wants you to have a good life, to do that for him.”

Throwing herself into Max, Marian buries her face into the crook of his neck crying uncontrollably. Guilt clenches her heart, shattering it as she thinks about Anders. He’s dead, and it is her fault. She killed him and yet he wants her to have a good life. He was happy that she found love again, but she isn’t sure she deserves it. Not when she executed the man she loved first, the one she thought she would spend the rest of her life with.

When her tears cease, she lays her head on Max’s shoulder. “It was my fault,” Marian whispers, her voice shaky. “How could he not hate me? I took his, our future from him.”

“He was at peace, love.” Max tightens his embrace, resting his head on hers. “If he still lived, he would have been a target. You would have been too, by association. And he had the spirit in him. I know he was struggling with it toward the end. You did him a kindness and I think he knew it.”

“I could have found a way.” Marian closes her eyes, trying to shut the image of Anders lying dead on the ground from her mind. “There had to be another way. I should have tried harder.”

“Is this what he would want you to do?”

Marian shakes her head slightly. “He would want me to live as he told you. I had a dream before I met you for the first time, and he told me he wanted me to move on. It’s just sometimes are harder than others.”

“I understand, and know that I’ll fight with everything I have to be there for you.” Max squeezes Marian as he fights back tears of his own. “When I thought I lost you, I felt as though I would never be whole again. It would have been my fault if you died. You were there because of me, love.”

“I would have been there regardless,” Marian replies softly, hugging Max. “When I came to help the Inquisition, I never knew I was going to find you. I did it because of the part I played in the world falling apart. I wanted to do something to atone, both for myself and for Anders.”

“There was more of a chance that you wouldn’t have been by my side when I chased after the Warden-Commander. You wouldn’t have been in the position to try to sacrifice yourself.” Max clings to Marian, as though he thinks she’ll vanish if he lets go of her.

“I don’t regret it, Max. I love you.” Marian nuzzles into him, drowsiness making her yawn. “Come to bed with me, love?”

“Yes, of course.” Max cradles Marian in his arms, carefully picking her up as he stands. He kisses her softly, holding her close. “I love you too.”


End file.
